Nice epiphany tonight

I was driving home, and I started noticing my belly.

Now, normally, "noticing my belly" means "beating myself up for being fat and pathetic and blah blah blah". That's not what happened. Here's what my brain did, without prompting or pause:

"Jeez. When did I become such a weenie? I remember when I looked like I could kick someone's ass!"

It was still a thought of judgement. However, there is a BIG difference in how I felt when I called myself "weak" compared to the feeling of "fat". I don't feel powerless and hopeless. I feel like I want to get in shape...and not "get skinny", but get in shape. I want to look and feel powerful.

I think that's good. It feels good, at least.