Sunday, August 1, 2010

Maybe Geneen is right, after all

Every one of Geneen Roth's books talks about using fat as a way to avoid intimacy. And I'm always like, "No way, Geneen; I'm happy with my relationship and my sexuality."

And then I started eating today, and definitely didn't stop when I was full (yesterday, either). It's as if I started eating as soon as I got back from tour. So...does this mean that I'm afraid of intimacy with my husband?

No, I don't think so. Here's where I'm at with this...I think this has something to do with my sexuality and other people. So...if I stay overweight, I don't have to worry about other people finding me attractive. I think it's BECAUSE I'm infatuated with my husband that I want to be undesirable to other guys. So, that's good, in a way- it tells me that I really am secure in my relationship and that I want to stay with him.

But, I don't want to keep using fat in this way! I know that I can (and do) use my personality to create distance between myself and other people. Why would I want to create a physical barrier, as well? Why would I need one? Does anyone have any thoughts?

No comments:

Post a Comment