For what it's worth, I have modified a couple of statements in order to preserve the anonymity of the other person. And, I really, honestly do blame dieting and diets and the diet industry for ripping apart the self-esteem of so many women.
Here is what I am seeing: You look like the average woman. Really, you do. If I took pictures of every other mom of every child in my son's class, at least half of them are your size or larger. And so am I. It may not be "perfect size", but it's very, very average. But...you are constantly telling yourself that you are SO, SO overweight. You talk about yourself as if your self-image is totally distorted. It doesn't sound like you see yourself the way you really look. And, it sounds like you see your size as an "enemy". So, you're at war with YOUR SELF.
You're also describing a really unrealistic set of diet habits. When you post your meals, they're extremely low-calorie. When I was dieting, I was eating 1800 calories/day. And I wasn't exercising. I know others eat less, but there isn't a doctor on the planet (not a smart one, at least) who will tell you that it's okay to eat less than 1200/day. Eating less isn't virtuous. It isn't going to make you healthier. And it isn't sustainable long-term. It's just going to make you feel shittier and make it harder to stay on track.
Food is not a bad thing, and it's not worth fighting. Food is awesome. It's enjoyable. It tastes good. If you're not giving yourself the chance to savor what you're choosing to eat, you're probably going to keep feeling resentful and shitty about everything you eat.
Also, it's been EXACTLY three weeks since your started the diet. Did you learn how to do ANYTHING in three weeks? I'm guessing that no one has. This is a process. Be kind to yourself. Allow for mistakes. And, don't let a "bad day" be a "failure". Correction: Don't let a "not totally picture perfect eating day" be a "bad day" at all. It's not about good and bad.
If you're at war with your self, and food is another enemy, there isn't a whole lot of room for taking care of yourself. And, if you're like just about every other woman I know, you're more likely to start craving food when you feel beaten down. So, your response to feeling shitty about dieting is probably going to be...to crash the diet. This entire idea is destined to fail.
Here is what I would recommend for you: If you're absolutely convinced that you HAVE to diet, stop thinking about trying to eat "perfectly". Perfect doesn't exist. Use an online calculator (the ones at Sparkpeople are good) to come up with a reasonable and healthy RANGE of calories that would allow you to sustain, nourish, and take care of yourself. You can do this and still lose weight. I promise.
There is another option, too. You can give up dieting. This has worked extremely well for me. I do think that this approach takes a really serious commitment, though...but it's worth it.
I hope you're able to read this in the spirit in which it is intended. I hate to see anyone feel so beaten down by themselves.
You're also describing a really unrealistic set of diet habits. When you post your meals, they're extremely low-calorie. When I was dieting, I was eating 1800 calories/day. And I wasn't exercising. I know others eat less, but there isn't a doctor on the planet (not a smart one, at least) who will tell you that it's okay to eat less than 1200/day. Eating less isn't virtuous. It isn't going to make you healthier. And it isn't sustainable long-term. It's just going to make you feel shittier and make it harder to stay on track.
Food is not a bad thing, and it's not worth fighting. Food is awesome. It's enjoyable. It tastes good. If you're not giving yourself the chance to savor what you're choosing to eat, you're probably going to keep feeling resentful and shitty about everything you eat.
Also, it's been EXACTLY three weeks since your started the diet. Did you learn how to do ANYTHING in three weeks? I'm guessing that no one has. This is a process. Be kind to yourself. Allow for mistakes. And, don't let a "bad day" be a "failure". Correction: Don't let a "not totally picture perfect eating day" be a "bad day" at all. It's not about good and bad.
If you're at war with your self, and food is another enemy, there isn't a whole lot of room for taking care of yourself. And, if you're like just about every other woman I know, you're more likely to start craving food when you feel beaten down. So, your response to feeling shitty about dieting is probably going to be...to crash the diet. This entire idea is destined to fail.
Here is what I would recommend for you: If you're absolutely convinced that you HAVE to diet, stop thinking about trying to eat "perfectly". Perfect doesn't exist. Use an online calculator (the ones at Sparkpeople are good) to come up with a reasonable and healthy RANGE of calories that would allow you to sustain, nourish, and take care of yourself. You can do this and still lose weight. I promise.
There is another option, too. You can give up dieting. This has worked extremely well for me. I do think that this approach takes a really serious commitment, though...but it's worth it.
I hope you're able to read this in the spirit in which it is intended. I hate to see anyone feel so beaten down by themselves.
No comments:
Post a Comment