Saturday, May 28, 2011

Welcome to me journaling through a binge urge.

Ack. All I want to do is eat.

I had a fairly logical and good dinner. And then I went for a run, and then I came home and had a snack. Okay. And then I started grazing. I can tell I'm looking for SOMETHING, but I don't know what. And, since I'm not at all hungry, it's something that isn't food.

What do I want? What do I feel?

I feel sort of frustrated at nothing in general. I'm sort of irritated with my kid, and I'm feeling antsy about putting together a budget for our household, and I'm excited about the new job. I guess it's a lot of feelings. It's been a big and busy week. What I really want to do is sort of go hole myself up alone for a few hours, but I don't want my husband to feel neglected. So, how can I get that feeling of "getting away from it all" without getting away?

I could read. I might enjoy reading. I don't feel like doing it, but I could. And I need to get rid of this feeling of guilt for the munching that I did. Because feeling shitty about it isn't going to make it go away, and it's not going to take it back. So, I'm letting that go.

I also know that I want some sort of sweetness. I just asked my husband if we can snuggle a bit later. I think that will help.

I feel better. Never underestimate the power of journaling!

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